This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
