this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
