and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
