My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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