dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
