Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
