is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize