It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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