it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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