Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
