I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
