You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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