I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
