He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
