Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
