I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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