A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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