Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
