my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
