I smell stomach acid.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
