I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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