Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
