who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize