Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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