So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
