Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
