We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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