I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
