Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
