Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The adults are the big ones right?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
