We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
