you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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