wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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