What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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