she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
