trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
