Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
