The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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