I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
