Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
