you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
