Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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