Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
