Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
where does the pee come out of this thing
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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