I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
