So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Say something about gay babies.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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