batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Semen is not good for contacts.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
