I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
