Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how can u be prego again
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i need some magic done to my vagina
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize