Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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