I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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