I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
