So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
