yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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