I wish my penis had an off switch
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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