Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
