I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
