so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
