I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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