I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
