You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
