he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
