i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
