I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
