You're my little dorito
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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