He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize