You're my little dorito
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
