so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
