pedialite and red bull = repair kit
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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