I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
