Your tits are I can't wait for
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
