Screwed.edu
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
