Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
